Thanks for joining me!
Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton
I’m ,the Barefoot Warrior. I have started this blog so I can share with you, my story and journey. It is my aim and hope, to inspire and empower you to live a happier healthier emotional life.
I was 41, travelling along quite nice on most levels, married for 21 years, had 4 great kids. I had also, been depressed for most of my adult life. I remember asking myself one day – Why am I so fucking depressed? I have a great husband , the kids are my heart and soul. I mean, what’s missing????? Funny thing about questioning the universe, it gives you an answer. The answer to this question rocked me to my core, it challenged every belief I had.
The months that followed I began to think about what it would be like to be with a woman. The realisation of this thought had HUGE repercussions. It was not something I contemplated lightly. I cried most days. The knowledge I was breaking my ex-husbands heart. I was breaking up the family I had worked tirelessly to build. The family I was proud of. The questions going through my head were endless. What was the damage going to be to the children? What about the fact I was Catholic? Was I going to hell?
I would look at my husband and see the heart break in his eyes. It broke my heart too. We had been each others haven for 21 years. He was my best friend. We had a rhythm. I mean how could I do this? Was I being selfish? Didn’t make a vow 21 years before? I ended up going to our parish priest at the time who said this exact thing.” Go back to your husband , you made vows and stick to them”. ” Ok” I thought. Thats true.
The weeks passed. Slowly I started to think. ‘So I am into women. (at this point I identified as bisexual) Whats going to happen if I stay in this marriage? Will he and I end up hating each other? Will we end up arguing like my parents? What will this do the children? I knew what it would do to the children, because I am a child of such a marriage. On top of that, I ached to be with a woman. I had no right to hold on to my husband . He deserved to be free. To find a good woman to be by his side.
Even though questions were relentless. The ache got stronger and stronger, with every passing day. Until one morning I woke up at 3am in the morning, with peace in my soul. Peace I had never experienced ever before in my life. And with that peace, a statement came.
I AM A LESBIAN.
ok cool! no fucking worries! yeah yeah slow down sunshine.
That was just the start. The start of an incredible journey of self discovery on every level.