Well well well here I am angry , fuming,furious,mad. I feel like I want to smash 10,000 plates on the ground.
I’m angry at the system of capitalism we live in. Where everything goes to the highest bidder including our politicians. Where my dad at 83 has to navigate around a system so complicated you need a team of I don’t what to get through the paperwork AND an accountant who is magical at making shit disappear on the case. I’m angry at working in a field of work the is supposedly the care industry but what it is , is a cover your arse or you’ll get the sack industry.
I’m angry with myself for believing bullshit
For giving too much ,for being a people pleaser
The thing I don’t know how to deal with the anger, really I don’t.
I got a job last week did 3 shifts and quit. Fuck this !!
There’s no point in being angry with a system that ain’t going to change just because I say it’s fucked.
I just don’t know how to deal with the anger.
I did an interview yesterday with a young woman who is studying journalism. Yeah filmed the whole deal. I talked about a lot of stuff including my ex and what I had been through. I talked about how a lot of people who identify as lgbtqi don’t want call what they have been through domestic violence, or do the work or courses to change their thinking. I talked about how there are one or 2 organisations that are about lgbtqi domestic violence but they aren’t in the ground like other charities. I talked about being homeless and going to court on my own. I talked about how hard the system is on a lot of levels. It was good to talk about this stuff. Because I truly believe this is what I’m supposed to be doing. We as a community are in the 1950s mindset when it comes to domestic violence. Don’t talk about it. Just shut up and move on.
Ok here is tip for young players. My report card in year 8 said
“Kylie talks too much”
Does that sound like someone who will sit down and shut up?
Not fuckin likely.
So the job I quit. The HR chick I spoke to said is there any reason why you want to leave?
To my credit I said “I don’t think you really want hear what I have to say. “And she said yes I do. So I told her.
But here’s the thing, I’m tired of being angry. I wish I could be that placid woman but I’m not. I’m fiesta as hell and I’m not going to take any shit anymore. In fact even if I wanted too my anger won’t let me.
So to quote pink. Don’t fuck with me
And I love you