I started watching the 2nd season of Anne with an E. The opening scene was of Anne going through her little treasures and picking one out , then putting it in her pocket. She then grabbed a rope and ran to a field, she stops and there is a big tree standing alone in said field, she gives the biggest wave. Runs with all the happiness to the tree and gives it a huge hug. Using the rope she climbs the tree. Sitting on a branch and takes out the treasure from her pocket and kisses it and says to the tree “I thought you might like this”.
After watching this scene I felt such love coming from the tree, I have hugged trees for about 8 years now. I thank them for who they are and what they do. It takes me to the times when I swim and as I walk to the water , with the waves seemingly rushing to meet me , I sometimes feel them saying “ I’ve missed you, so happy to have you come to see me. Come let me cleanse you. Give me you worries, give me your hurt, give me you happiness , your gratitude. Give it all to me.”
Today I had one swim then gave myself time to lay on the sand and ground myself. Gave myself time to unload all of what was weighing heavy in my heart. Acknowledged how I felt, which sometimes can be 5 different emotions in 10 minutes. And that’s ok. They are waiting for me to acknowledge them, that’s all. I then went in the water again and washed it all away.
Nature is just so beautiful to me. Watching a bird wash itself, the waves. A kangaroo jumping along the field at dawn when I finish work on night shift.
I believe nature has healed me. I have been open to it too.
I challenge you to connect with nature in whatever small way you can. Barefoot if possible. Let the earth surround you hold you close tell it all your secrets. Be totally you without masks or expectations of yourself. Just be. You. The more you do it. The better it will be. The better you will be.
In the last week I have had a couple of days where ptsd has come to visit. When it took me while to realise what was happening. Then I realised it had been a year since I got out. I slept most of the day, the next day I had panic attacks. The body is an amazing thing. Emotional memories. Christmas Day it happened again.
So this morning I gave acknowledgement to how I felt. I told the me of last year that I had her. I hugged her. Then washed it away in the waves
This, to me , is healing. It’s not pretty. It’s acknowledging what the fuck is going on in your heart. Giving attention to what you’re saying to yourself. Feeling the feelings, because once you do feel them they go away. Giving the real you a chance to breath and live as you were born to do.
The world needs you to be you. Not what others think you should be or , indeed , expect you to be. You. In the depths of your soul there’s a whisper…. that’s the real you. Go meet them. The beautiful amazing you.
And remember I love you