So in the lgbtqi community there are very few long term relationships and while the answer to why is multifaceted, today I want to talk to you about a few of them.
Internal homophobia/transphobia I believe is one of them. In my journey through healing from abusive/ narcissistic relationships I have looked deep within myself and realised I was homophobic towards myself. I didn’t accept the fact that I was a lesbian. Why? I mean what’s the big deal here. Well this comes from growing up in a staunch religious family. When I came out this religion had been brainwashed into me from birth. I have found my own form of spiritual life. One I’m happy with and at peace with.So the journey to self acceptance has been a long one. For me I have looked at my family and the wider community , life is so much easier to some extent when you are straight.
My life as a lesbian has made me look at 1.why I was attracting the abusive relationships I was. 2. My internal shame 3. My inner wounded child.
It has not been until I have addressed all of these issues that I have attracted people that I’m happy to have in my life. I now can see red flags from mile off. I can notice and address my patterns that I no longer want give breath too. I have my boundaries too. I have found myself at times being full of total attitude and so god damn straight forward. I’m also prepared to work through my triggers with someone I trust and getting know, they have to be a very safe space though.
If ,as a member of the lgbtqi community, a long term relationship is something you want. Then you need to be prepared to go through all the shit you’ve been through , with a counsellor. And also take responsibility for your part in it. None of its easy but it’s so worth it .
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So I look at my