hi everyone I hope you are well in this crazy time of isolation and restrictions being lifted washing hands . not touching ones face. etc.
Today I wanted to talk to you about emotional shut down & emotional Intelligence. and how to make the journey from one to another. I am not a therapist nor am i a counsellor. I am someone who has gone through physical, mental, emotional, sexual abuse and this is blog is the lessons i have learnt. I have not done any of this on my own, I am currently going to 2 different counsellors. one of whom is trained in trauma counselling. so if you have gone through trauma please try and get to see a professional, not just any professional one that you click with, find a counsellor/therapist that holds that safe space for you to talk and be and feel.
“Emotional Intelligence is the capability of an individual to recognize their own emotions & those of others, discerning between different feeling and to be able to label them appropriately, to use emotional information to guid thinking and behaviour”. wikipedia
4 steps to emotional intelligence
1. to create emotional literacy
I felt numb for most of last year , as you all know.
That too is a feeling.
so how does one go about naming feelings when you have been shut down emotionally most of your life? what happens when you don’t have words for the feelings One way to start is asking yourself a question of how you feel in your body. So what are your bodily sensations. Do you feel tight in any part of your body? do you have goose bumps? butterflies in your stomach?
with the work I have done in therapy my therapist would often ask me if how do i feel ….. i would often say i feel sick in my stomach. this does take time to develop. but its essential for emotional health.
to feel what you feel isn’t good/bad. it is what it is. you feel what you feel. See an emotion needs to be acknowledged. its that simple. but when its not its like a drop of water dripping into a bucket . one drop is no big deal. before you know it , its half full. Then over flowing. eventually it becomes a flood. from drop after drop. its the same with emotions. The other thing i have noticed is once i have acknowledged and felt the emotion then let it go, i now have more energy. i exercise more, i eat healthier, im studying 11 hr a week on my coaching course. maintaining a healthy relationship, helping my elderly father, working shift work in a job where i travel 1 hour to and from work.
its so important to acknowledge them . with out shame or fear.
and remember I love you